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Corbyn versus May

The Political Cup Final at Wembley Stadium is upon us again.

Most of the capacity crowd support Corbyn: “Oh, Jeremy Corbyn!”, “Oh Jeremy, Corbyn!”, “Oh Jeremy Corbyn!” they inanely chant-out, while wearing a face mask of their hero and saviour.

Corbyn has won the toss and he kicks-off. He believes he has momentum on his side.

Corbyn easily passes the Tory strikers from the DAILY TELEGRAPH, the SUN, The DAILY EXPRESS and The DAILY MAIL who have exhausted their bile, hatred and mendacity towards him. They are now more interested in the “traitors”, “mutineers” and “enemies of the people” on the other side.

Corbyn swiftly side-steps the Tory midfield players, who are too busy fighting each other over whether or not to leave the European Union.

And Corbyn by-passes the injury-prone defenders of free-market economists who are being stretchered -off the pitch for slipping up time and time again on the state of the pitch.

Now Corbyn only has May to confront and she dives the wrong way, presenting Corbyn with an open goal.

Corbyn kicks the football at the empty net but it soars high over the cross-bar into the stand filled with his supporters, who let out a deep sigh of disappointment. It is from “Oh, Jeremy Corbyn” to “Oh dear, Jeremy Corbyn!”.

The Match of the Day pundits look at Corbyn’s missed opportunity in slow motion and notice the ball is not only deflated but seems to be very old; with the names MacDonald, Atlee, Wilson, Callaghan, Blair and Brown etched onto the tattered remnants of the disfigured ball.

The football has been kicked around long before Corbyn became captain but it has never managed to pass over the goal-line. The manufacturer has a history of producing footballs that deflate on impact. The football is totally useless for scoring a goal with, no matter who the striker happens to be. And it is not helped by the fact that the Wembley pitch is tilted in favour of its owners; not the footballers or the supporters.

Jeremy is shown the red card: but it is not a Marxist one. Mores’ the pity.

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